pride vs self-esteem
its thursday again... always looked forward to thursday... thursday has always been a v emotionally traumatising day... this is the dunno how many time i'm blogging after a cg meeting... always i have lots to say after cg...
in this new semester, i have a HRM class which starts at 430 n ends at 630... that means i gotta rush, literally run to catch the bus... i reach ziv's place about 750... i was rather surprised that e games were nt in progress yet... seems like there r ppl later than me... okies, but i gotta do this for the next 12 weeks before i have my exams... aiyo, so fast exam liao...
sometimes... pride juz slip into me... but the Holy Spirit is always there to remind me about such stuff... like 'Who are you to judge others? Only the LORD judges'... then i told GOD during worship that i really need to commit this pride problem into His hands... gotta change... then the big surprise... the cg surmon was on self-esteem... seems that the source of my pride problem was really of my low self-esteem... especially on the point where bro ryan said that we have to parent ourselves so that this frees us from expecting unconditional love from others... because of my insecurities... i always wanna to do better than others... give more than others... (then this phrase which someone said, came to me again: 'unequal amount, equal sacrifice')... achieve better grades... and sometimes i even felt that 'GOD am i doing sth that pleases you?'... trying so hard... i always remind myself that the first thing to prosper is my soul...
actually, when i tink about it... i'm actually v blessed... no need to worry about finances... about family problems... i get to study... i mean i should really thank the LORD for all these... most or even almost my whole life have been pretty smooth sailing... well, been really blessed these few days... i mean even on monday gg to sis siew choo home, emmy gave me a ride to n fro... n juz now, huiming oso sent me back to ntu... i mean, they r nt obligated to do tt but they went the extra mile, literally...
well, tonight after i reach my hall... called my mum... well, she didn't scold me or anything... juz ask me to bath then go slp... Praise the LORD... am always worried getting scolded for returning late...nites... the day ahead lies many challenges to conqure...
in this new semester, i have a HRM class which starts at 430 n ends at 630... that means i gotta rush, literally run to catch the bus... i reach ziv's place about 750... i was rather surprised that e games were nt in progress yet... seems like there r ppl later than me... okies, but i gotta do this for the next 12 weeks before i have my exams... aiyo, so fast exam liao...
sometimes... pride juz slip into me... but the Holy Spirit is always there to remind me about such stuff... like 'Who are you to judge others? Only the LORD judges'... then i told GOD during worship that i really need to commit this pride problem into His hands... gotta change... then the big surprise... the cg surmon was on self-esteem... seems that the source of my pride problem was really of my low self-esteem... especially on the point where bro ryan said that we have to parent ourselves so that this frees us from expecting unconditional love from others... because of my insecurities... i always wanna to do better than others... give more than others... (then this phrase which someone said, came to me again: 'unequal amount, equal sacrifice')... achieve better grades... and sometimes i even felt that 'GOD am i doing sth that pleases you?'... trying so hard... i always remind myself that the first thing to prosper is my soul...
actually, when i tink about it... i'm actually v blessed... no need to worry about finances... about family problems... i get to study... i mean i should really thank the LORD for all these... most or even almost my whole life have been pretty smooth sailing... well, been really blessed these few days... i mean even on monday gg to sis siew choo home, emmy gave me a ride to n fro... n juz now, huiming oso sent me back to ntu... i mean, they r nt obligated to do tt but they went the extra mile, literally...
well, tonight after i reach my hall... called my mum... well, she didn't scold me or anything... juz ask me to bath then go slp... Praise the LORD... am always worried getting scolded for returning late...nites... the day ahead lies many challenges to conqure...
1 Comments:
At 2:44 am,
mione...iyi said…
ger... Jia You! When the going gets tough, the tough get gOing! U can sUre get rid of the bUg that has been bUgging U! dOn't wOrry abOut yoUr mOm.. Prov 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on Your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths." You have did the first step in confessing your prob with pride.. the second step is to overcome it... you're an overcome vicky!! 1Jn5:4 ~ Vick, your're an overcomer in Christ!! :)
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